A Weighted Love
by WindyGallowTree
Summary: Romano, a teen who wishes to be thin, meets Antonio, the new popular student at school. Coincidence? Who knows? Bending the time-honored code of society, the two become close and something even more may blossom. A weighted, pure-hearted love. Spamano, Human AU, with Chubby!Romano
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you for viewing! I'm starting up a new story (even though I haven't touched the last one). I know some of you may never had pictured a chubby Romano but I can. Trust me, when you are in an Italian family, you eat a lot of pastas and carbs. And when you eat all of that, you gain weight. It sucks. Because it is a constant battle against society's requirements for "popularity" and such. However, I can honestly say that I am not bullied at school. Though my father and brother seem to like to (mainly my brother calling me fat all the time, although not so much nowadays). **

**I just wanted to write something that is relatable. So please, treat me kindly. (And sorry for the mistakes, I find it hard to read things over.) Thank you!**

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**A Weighted Love**

If you could wish for one thing, one thing at all, what would it be? I will tell you right now the first thing that comes to mind is to be skinny. Sure, there are a bunch of other things, but that's what I want the most right now.

See, in order to be accepted by society, or the bastards you have to deal with for five days a week in an educational _prison _called school, you have to be thin and good-looking and wear expensive clothes. Ah, let's see.

Not skinny (pointed that out already).

I'm not sure if I'm ugly or not. In my opinion, no. But that doesn't matter because of the first.

Can't wear the accepted brands of clothing because you have to be _skinny_.

Oh would you look at that? I am officially pushed out of society! Hooray for all the fuckers who kicked me out!

Sarcasm, people- it's my specialty.

But seriously, you have no idea what I go through every day. Every morning I look at myself in the mirror, grasping at the fat that is everywhere on my body. Stomach, thighs, hips, my chin. It all makes me _sick _to see. I want it gone, disappeared, _andato_.

It doesn't go away though. Still there, every single day.

Putting on my loose jeans and baggy Italia shirt, my morning rituals are continued on until I get on the bus with my fratello. Feliciano is full blood related to me, hell we look like twins, despite me being a little less than 2 years older. He is as skinny as a rail and eats like a fucking pig. He gorges himself on various pastas at least 4 times a week.

I used to do that, but a few years ago, Nonno had bluntly told me, "You should lay off the pasta a bit Lovino. You're getting a little pudgy there!" He started laugh right after. Mouth open wide for the twirled angel hair that was on my fork, I dropped it onto the plate. My face was burning with embarrassment and anger. I left to my room directly after that.

Now, I am on a diet of skim milk, low calorie foods, and fat free stuff. I try to run every day, but it's hard. I'm not that weak to give up though! My motivation is just dwindling, that's all.

While thinking over these things, the bus had come to a stop at the middle school. We drop them off first then go to the high school. It's an annoying process, but it works.

I look over to Feliciano in the seat ahead of me. He's sitting with the potato-bastard as usual. I hate that guy; he always looks at me funny. And he's all buff too! What kind of sophomore is just under 6 feet and more muscular than the people in sports magazines? I don't know.

The potato-bastard is nodding at the things Feliciano is jabbering about. Food or something, he's talking too fast for my early morning brain to process. I give the potato credit though being able to stand my brother though. He's way too clingy and speaks at a rapid-fire rate. Even I can only take so much of him.

My staring was interrupted by a flick to the back of my head. I turn around, rubbing at the now agitated area on my scalp. I glare at potato-bastard number two- the albino version. Gilbert's smirk grew as I yelled at him for being an ass. The blood-red irises of his eyes seem to taunt me even more, my face turning a similar shade as well. I hate it when they bother me. Lower my self-esteem even more why don't you!

The bus jerked to a start as it moved up more in the line. The younger kids in the front got off first and then another group of high school students took their place to be brought to the living hell.

Oh, and with this group comes the cheese-bastard? No? Guess you know now!

Francis had slid into the same seat as Gilbert, bidding him a good morning in that creepy French accent. Gives me the chills every time I hear it, damn it! He then looks to me, giving me a fucking rapist smile. I cringe and quickly move my body around, but he doesn't let me go.

"Ohonhon, how are you this wonderful morning, Lovino? Still don't have the perfect body, I see!" The laughter again, with more giggles added in by others. That mocking, fucking laughter!

I put my head down, pinching my face tight to prevent tears from escaping. Thank God my hair is long enough to hide my face a little. I would be mortified if they saw that I was trying not to cry like a pansy.

Everything dies down as the yellow method of transportation comes to a halt. People start filing out of the seats and out the door. I get off as quickly as possible and start my way up the short flight of steps. Gilbert and France are behind me, interest of the previous affair lost as they talk about a new student that was supposedly arriving today.

"So where's this new kid from anyway? The awesome me wants to know!"

"Hm, I think I heard he was from Spain. But I'm not completely sure. We should introduce ourselves later. Don't you agree?" Francis flipped his blond hair in a girl fashion, nose high in the air.

"Yeah! We can make a group or something! C'mon, Francy-pants, let's go find him!" The duo had run off, or more precisely, Gilbert running off with Francis speed walking behind. With both far ahead of me, I felt a bit safer. Usually the bullying starts whenever they are around. Without the cheese-bastard and potato-bastard number two around, life is tolerably.

The foyer hallway was packed with students waiting to be released to the rest of the school at 7:25. People bumped against me like always, in a rush to nowhere. However, I was startled by a large push on my back. I almost lost my balance but somehow stood straight again. Anger was starting to boil inside of me until I felt a poke to my shoulder. I didn't look back until there was a succession of short prodding in the same spot. "What do you want, bastardo?!"

The person had jumped slightly at my outburst though smiled at me. What is wrong with this person? No one smiles in this hell-hole!

"¡Hola~! Lo siento but I accidently got pushed into you! Are you okay?"

I finally got a good look at him once I calmed down. He had rich, chocolate locks, sun-kissed skin, and eyes that could put an emerald to shame. His smile was bright and his face handsome- high-quality popularity material. However, I remembered to Francis and Gilbert's conversation from earlier. This had to be the new student, as his accent and language choice was clearly Spanish.

"Hey, are you really okay? Your face is like a tomato!" I got snapped out of my observations and I scowled. I know my face looks like a tomato, damn it! It's red and pudgy and squishy and…

I look down. Those thoughts are back again. "Yeah, I'm fine! Now leave me alone."

Apparently he doesn't fulfill my wishes because he decides to keep talking. "Wait! I'm new here and I don't know where my first period class is."

He takes out a folded half sheet of paper from his pocket and opens it up. He pointed to the class at the top of the list was coincidently the same as mine- band. First period was my favorite class. I could indulge in music and feel alive while my fingers flowed gently over the glittering silver keys of my clarinet. I played everything I could get my hands on.

"Do you know where the band room is? I don't know where anything is in this building…" His free hand went up to rub the back of his head in embarrassment. I sighed, a puff of warm air flowing out.

"Fine. Only because I have to go there too, idiota! But I have to go to my locker first. Either go to your locker and come back here or follow me since the music suite is right down the hall." The teachers released us to our own devices and we began moving. The Spaniard agreed to meet me back here, much to my chagrin.

I quickly head towards my locker in the language and science wing of the academy. I feel as though the others in my grade are look at me with hidden eyes and feeling the slight vibrations I make as I walk. I can feel them too, that's why I try to step softly half the time. Everything is ridiculous.

Grabbing the various binders and folders I make my way towards the foyer again, taking the less populated route around. I see the new student, patiently waiting for my return. I call out to him, giving simple instructions to follow. And he does, like a lost puppy.

"Okay, listen up because I won't show you again! This is the music suite and has 3 openings, two of which are unlocked on the outside." I show him the doors, band students moving through them. He nods showing me he understands and I show him to the correct room that we use. Besides the band room, there is a chorus room, office, and a few practice rooms.

He smiles brightly at me again and hugs me. I start spluttering out unintelligent words. I felt my face burning up more than ever, reaching to the tips of my ears. I finally mustered enough strength to push him off of me and he had this cute look on his face.

Did I just say cute? Cute? Oh God, someone help me…

"Hahaha! Lo siento, I just wanted to thank you in some way! Hugging was the best option!"

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Bastard! Don't touch me! God, you just don't go hugging a person you know."

"I'm Antonio" He said.

"What?"

"I am Antonio. And you are…?" The Spaniard reached a hand out, awaiting an answer. I looked away and mumbled out a reply.

"Hmmm? What was that?"

"I said, 'My name is Lovino'!" I yelled out in frustration. Why did I even tell him in the first place?

"Well, nice to meet you Lovi~! I'll see you later!"

"It's not 'Lovi', you bastard!" And he ran off into the band room.

I walked in after him to get set up for practice. I said my greetings to my teacher, Mrs. Reverend. She was a nice lady who you could tell anything to. She was like a mother to all of us too, giving us treats every now and then or letting us watch a movie. Out of all the teachers I had, she was one of my favorites.

We kept all the instruments in these lockers for safe keeping. Mine was in the smaller sized ones as a clarinet case isn't that large. Leaving my stuff in the front of the locker, I took the case and went to my seat of 2nd chair in the clarinet section. The seniors always get first chair since it's their last year. But I was ahead of everyone else since there was only one senior good enough to be first.

Getting the reed moist, I looked towards where Antonio was. He was standing next to Gilbert. Yes, Gilbert is in band. He plays the flute- the daintiest instrument we have. I don't know why he plays it, but he treasures his flute which is admirable in a musician's point of view.

Going back to now, Gilbert had an arm slung over Antonio's shoulders, chatting. It was too loud with everyone warming up to here what they were saying.

Best guess is that Gilbert is going with his plan to get Antonio to join in with him and Francis. And probably talking about me too, no less. Being one of the laughing stocks of the school causes that to happen.

_Shoo, shoo! _I swish away the bad thoughts away in my mind. No need to get this depressed during my favorite class!

I focus on the music for the upcoming concert, a beautiful piece called "October" composed by Eric Whitacre. There is a clarinet solo in the beginning that Mrs. Reverend chose for me to play. She told me that I was one her most dedicated students and should play it for our opening concert. I was happy that she told me that because I feel as though music is the only thing my life is worth living for.

I started playing, fingers moving perfectly. I was moving into my own world right now and it's filled with music and tomatoes. The two greatest things in the world.

I absolutely love tomatoes! I just don't like to be called one!

The notes filed out until I heard the tap of the tap of Mrs. Reverend's baton on the conductors stand. "Alright guys! We have a new student who is joining us. His name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. For this concert, he will be playing the trumpet."

I looked at him and he had a smile on, but his teeth were not showing like before. What is he, shy? Seemed pretty enthusiastic to me.

Antonio caught my eye and titled his head slightly, mouth growing wider. I blushed and turned my head away. Is it his goal or something to make me blush every minute or something?!

He walked around to the trumpet section, pulling up a chair next to the first player, ah, Alfred I think? Well, Alfred had begun conversing with him a little bit loudly and told him to just watch for now.

Mrs. Reverend clicked the tip of the baton again against the metal to gain everyone's attention. "Okay, B flat scale! And one, two, three, four…"

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Practice had gone pretty well. It's not like we're fantastic or anything, but we all manage along pretty well. I gently put the pieces away and into my locker and picked up my supplies. Pulling my shirt down in the process to make sure that no skin peeks out, I quickly walked out to the suite hallway to wait for the bell. Antonio found me at this time as well.

"You guys are pretty good! And you play the clarinet so beautifully! ¡Fantástico~!"

I blushed for the umpteenth time today thanks to him. "T-thanks…I guess…"

My perfect moment was ruined when potato-bastard #2 walked in. He stood next to Antonio and started leading him away from me. "Hey, I told you to stay away from that fatty! It's not awesome! Come on, you need to meet Francis, he's in the next class we have together."

I looked on in sadness. It felt as though my heart had taken a sharp blow, chips of the solid mass falling away.

_Why do I feel so broken? What is this feeling?_

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**Okay, I have not played "October" but I've been listening to it. I have been second guessing myself whether or not it is a clarinet or an oboe... Ahh it's hard to tell! Oh, and I play the flute by the way, so I understand music! :)**

**Thank you very much for reading! I apologize if I just seem to drag things on too much with too many details... It is a habit.**

**Please review, it makes me happy to know people will want to read more and like it! **

**Oh, and I have other stories, such as another Spamano one- "Without You, I'm Just a Sleepwalker" Check it out if you want~**


	2. Chapter 2

_**(Almost forgot: **There is a poll occurring on my profile- _Would you like updates on the progress of chapters on my profile or on tumblr?**)**

**Oh my goodness it's been a little while...haha... I'm so sorry! This was my first week of official summer vacation and my big brother just graduated last Friday! During the days I didn't have regents and finals, I stayed home and studied and played videogames to relax myself (I was sick the first day of testing, luckily I did not have a regents).**

**And so far, I have lost 13 pounds! I'm getting closer to my goal! Now if only I look thinner, that would be nice but I don't think that'll happen. It discourages me more when I see myself.**

**Now, I actually looked over this chapter (mostly) so there should not be many obvious mistakes, I hope. Thank you for sticking with me, friends!**

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A Weighted Love

**Chapter 2**

I'm not going to let anything else bother me today. You need to stay tough and not look weak! If you look weak then you get bullied even more and I really don't want that. Don't want to lower my self-esteem anymore now do we? No, we don't.

Next class, second period, is chemistry. It's an alright class, but it's hard. There is just way too much stuff for me to memorize. Sure I'm good at memorizing music, but this is just ridiculous. I have to take it though, to get out of this hell-hole and get on with my, _oh so wonderful_,life.

"Hey, Lovino! I'm talking to you!" I looked behind me and Bella was running up to me. Bella Charlier has been pretty much my only friend through my whole life. We met in first grade and we stuck by each other all the way for some reason. She doesn't make fun of me like the others do (unless she does it for spite like the bitch she is, but it's never about my weight). We also have about half of our classes together this year, which I am ultimately grateful for.

"What?" I yell out. She finally catches up through the crowd of students and frowns at me. Her face moves closer to mine, squinting her eyes in the process.

"Something's wrong. I can tell, you know," A finger pokes at one of my cheeks, sinking in. "This expression is different. What happened? Do you want me to tell Abel?" I slap her finger away, rubbing at my cheek.

Abel Tobias is Bella's older brother. To get rid of the confusion, Bella was adopted into Abel's family when she was a baby. Bella still has her original last name as well, which I don't clearly know why. Said they, her adoptive family, wanted her to keep it- it would change anyway when she got married so it wouldn't matter. Now, Abel is a senior while Bella and I are juniors. Abel acts like a big brother to me, watching out for me. He doesn't show it, but he really cares. And if Bella tells him that someone had bullied me to the point where it's noticeable and truly causing me pain, he beats the living shit out of them. That has happened about 3 times now (that I know of), though two of those times were when I was in middle school. Last year, Bella told him to go "shape up" this junior who decided it would be funny to write "fat" and stuff over my locker. The kid didn't come back to school until a month later and didn't as much as look at me again.

"No need to tell him anything if nothing is wrong. Gilbert was just being an asshole as usual. Nothing big," I said. She gave me a skeptical look but just said "okay then". With the conversation dropped, we continued on our way to class.

We sat at our designated table in the back of the room. Usually I would sit up at the front so I could see better but some fuckers like to complain about how they can't see the board because I'm in the way. Then I would get tiny pieces of rolled paper or eraser stubs thrown at me. To prevent any further humiliation now, I made sure to get a seat in the back. Unless I have one of those teachers who issue assigned seats. Then I get in a pissy mood and things generally do not go well. But it's just something I have to deal with, like everything else in this world.

"So, did you see the new student yet? One of my friends told me he's really hot!" Bella started up again. I slammed my head against the table. "What?"

I grumbled out in reply, "Yeah, I have. I had to show him to the band room unfortunately." Her eyes lit up.

"Is he cute? Huh? What's he like?" I hate it when she gets like this.

"The idiota is not '_cute_' and is one of the most overly happy people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. He fucking _hugged_ me since I showed him the music suite. Who does that?!" I could feel heat moving into my face from remembering him. And she noticed. Wonderful.

"Ohh, does little Lovi have a crush by chance?" She started giggling quietly. It was evil, I tell you! "This is going to be good~" Oh God, no.

I glared at her, even though it doesn't faze her like other people. "I don't like him, damn it! I swear to God if you do anything I will kill you."

"No you won't! If you killed me, you would be alone. And we both know that you wouldn't survive without me!" She punched my arm, slightly hard. "Admit, Lovino!"

"Fine, fine! I wouldn't be alive without you. Happy?"

"Yup!" With that said, the bell had rung and the period started. Class wasn't so bad with Bella there, but honestly, she is very distracting. I mean, _extremely fucking _distracting. She twirls her pencil around causing an obscene noise and scratches her fingernails along the table. I'm thankful and all that she's actually here, but I can only take so much.

The bell rang after 40 minutes, signaling the next period. Both of us had health next today. Every other day we have health. The other days we have gym (P.E. isn't Co-Ed however much to my hatred; and it's because I have to be with all the guys who really don't like me—not because I want to watch the girls, asshole!). Getting in line to take the stairs, I felt people behind me start pushing on my lower back, which in turn caused me to bump into Bella. "Knock it off, assholes!" I yelled. Bella peered over her shoulder while still moving up the steps. Her glare was aimed to the bastards who I yelled at. If you think my glares are scary, Bella's can be wicked and vicious. Like, "if you don't stop I will personally see to your untimely death". No one messes with her (and everyone knows that Abel is her brother).

We finally made it to the health room, plopping down into the desks. I took out a thin binder from my pile of supplies. Bella did the same and started ranting. "People are stupid. I mean really, do they have to be so rude? What did you ever do to them?" She paused, "At least, you seriously didn't piss anyone off have you? With that mouth of yours, I wouldn't be surprised."

"No, I did not do anything! Sure, I may yell at those bastards for being what they are but don't you think I have the right to since they started it first?" I leaned against my hand. Bella shook her head in agreement and waited for the teacher to start class. I feel like this is going to be a long day.

\(o_o\)

Last period sucked. Bella wasn't with me so I was stuck in a room full of assholes for Spanish. God, why can't the school offer Italian or something? French is one of the bastards' languages and Spanish is similar to Italian but I get confused half the time because it's different! And now I have lunch. Fuck my life.

Lunch was never a time of peace for me. And would you expect it to be? Fuck no. Bella and I had the same lunch period but at the beginning of the year I told her to sit with her other friends since she deals with me all throughout the day. It took her a while to oblige, saying that she was worried about me. I kept telling her it was alright, that I would figure something out.

Our school allows the students to sit outside the lunch room, in the little area in the foyer, if they wanted (and were trusted). I would sit there most of the time. There were less people, and the people that would sit outside the lunch room were not the most popular people so they never did anything to me.

Since last year I decided to bring my own lunch to school. That way, I can eat healthier than what the school serves. Their food is disgusting; especially when they serve pasta because I pretty much have a heart attack. Besides that, it saves me a hell of a lot of trouble, too. When I was in middle school, kids would push me around or cut in front of me. One time I punched a kid in the mouth because he cut in front of me, saying that I was "not moving fast enough" and "would take all the food because I am a fat pig". After that, I got sent to the principal's office. I received 4 days of detention while the boy who started it lied through his teeth about the situation and received no punishment. Just a pat on the head for being a "good" kid and telling her.

This is why I hate people. They lie and are greedy bastards. They are seemingly blessed by God with their rose-colored life.

And then you have people like me who have to work for what they want and get the blunt of the blow.

"Lovi!" My mind breaks out of the thoughts in my head and I look up at the source of the voice. My amber-colored eyes met bright emerald orbs. For a moment, everything just went away. The people, the noise, the thoughts, everything.

And it broke when he sat down. It all came crashing down in a sudden onslaught of the world. But it was all bearable, it had to be. "Cool, we have the same lunch period! How come you sit out here?" Antonio says. I look at my peanut-butter sandwich, thinking of an answer to give him.

"Because I do not like it in there," I said. "I prefer being away from all those assholes in there."

He frowns but a smile plants itself on his face a second later. "Can I sit here with you?"

I glared at him, "Go sit with those bastards Gilbert and Francis."

"They aren't in the same lunch period… And I don't have anyone else to sit with."

"Well isn't that a shame. And I highly doubt you can't find anyone else to sit with in there. They all like you, especially since you're friends with the bastards." I roll my eyes. But he gives me a sad look, clasping his hands together.

"Please, Lovi? Can't I sit with you?"

"…Fine. But don't expect me to talk to you or anything! I want to eat in peace."

"¡Gracias!"

The rest of lunch went by quickly. A few times Antonio had offered a bit of his food for me as a thank you. It looked delicious, and he said it was all home-made by his mother too, but I refused. I told him I couldn't eat it.

"Why can't you eat it? Are you allergic to seafood?" I almost laughed at this but managed to keep a straight face. What kind of Italian is allergic to seafood? Now that I think about it, I feel bad to those who are the poor souls.

"No, I just can't eat it. And it's none of your business." It's embarrassing to say that you can't eat something because you're on a diet. Only girls go on diets! But, I have to lose weight somehow and cutting down on calories and high fat-content food products is one way. I don't know what this "paella" is made with besides the obvious ingredients that are present. It could be loaded with butter or oil for all I know.

"Okay then, Lovi," He said as he put the spoon full of rice and peppers in his mouth.

"I told you not to call me Lovi!" I growled. He only laughed.

"Ahahaha! You're so cute, Lovino! Like a tomato!" I reddened and he continued on, "So, what class do you have next? It's going to be sixth period, sí?"

I sighed and put all my containers back in my lunch bag. "Yes, it will be. And I have advanced U.S. History for two periods, advanced English 11, Trigonometry, and then Drawing and Painting."

"Aw, we don't have any of those classes together! I have a work period last period though… I wonder if I could take that class! It would be so fun, Lovino!"

Scowling, I said, "Whatever. Time to go." And I left to head to my next class.

(/o_o)/

The next three periods I did not have with Bella. She was too much of a lazy ass to do the summer projects. It's okay though. Most of the people in those classes are more indulged with their studies to give a crap about me. But there are couple that like to make hell for me. My teachers try stopping them though however whenever they notice.

Drawing and Painting was the second favorite class of mine. It was a time where I could do whatever I wanted, allowing me to take my feelings out through drawing. Another plus was that Nonno was the teacher.

You're probably wondering why the hell I don't go to school with him and saving myself the misery of riding the bus. The unfortunate reason is that Nonno doesn't come in until second period since he doesn't have class until third. It's not like he has to grade papers or anything so that's what he does.

Most people know that he is Feliciano's and I's grandfather. It's easy to tell we are by our looks at least; the curls coming out of our heads should be a dead giveaway. But people often realize that he is our (mainly Feliciano's) grandfather because of his and Feliciano's similar personalities. They have the same smile too, something that I don't have. I don't smile, I have no reason to. And just because he is my grandfather doesn't mean people treat me any more kindly. _Because I'm not like him, I'm not nice like him_.

I don't let it get to me though. I don't need him to be accepted. I don't want to be accepted by these people. They are rotten and cruel.

I stepped into the art room; Nonno was sitting at his desk. He was looking at something on the computer but still noticed me come in. Really, how could someone not notice me with my size? "Lovino! How was your day today?" He smiled cheerfully.

I rolled my eyes, "It's never going to be good, so don't expect me to give a happy reply. Unless sarcastically." He frowned.

"What happened then?"

"Nothing! Nothing is wrong! Why do you always ask me this every day?" I hate it when he does this because I get pissed off. Like I would tell him all my problems anyway! If something was wrong I would tell Bella.

He put his hands up in surrender, "I get it! You could be a bit nicer, Lovino… Your brother is so sweet…"

"Do not compare me to him. I am nice, but I don't believe I should be to assholes!"

"Watch the language. There's no reason to swear."

"Whatever, just please let me be for a while…"

"Alright. Oh, and we are leaving right after the period today. No reason for me to stay any longer today!" Nonno stretched his arms above his head and waited for the rest of his students to arrive. I put my multiple binders and textbooks on the art table closest to him and sat down in the stool. I only sit nearby him because there were quite a few people in this period that really like to piss me off. But if I stayed near Nonno, they didn't do much.

Most people only take the art classes in this school to earn the easy credit. As long as you produce something, you get the grade. I wish the school could just put all of us who actually care into one class so we can work in peace.

I take out the sketchbook from my pile of stuff and open it up to a clean page. I look around the room for something to give me inspiration but it was fruitless. I attempt to think of something as I tap my pencil against the page. Nonno is saying "good afternoon" to students as they file into the room, giving a greeting in return. They pass by my desk, most looking away with their head held up high. Stools are screeching against the tiled floor and books being slapped onto the large desks.

No one sits near me, either to isolate me for _obvious_ reasons or because the normal people who are usually nice do not get picked on for being so-called "friends" with the fat kid. I try to ignore that fact most of the time, but it still pisses me off. What's so wrong with being friends with me? What does my weight have to do with _me_? Sure I may not be the nicest person in the world but I if your nice to me I'll be nice to you. But people don't seem to realize that. Because they don't like people who are _different _from them. _Different_ people are not accepted into society. _Different _people cannot be good people as well, it seems, because they are _different_.

Well you know what? I do not give a damn if I'm different. I like being different, even if I do not like the reason for me being different. Now that I think about it, is it that fucking wonderful to be anorexic skinny? Do you like looking like you have a disease? I'll tell now I wouldn't. Bella is thin but at least she has some meat on her bones! She has _shape_. I want to have shape and to be thin and that's why I'm working on that. I'm working my _ass off_ to be like them and they don't know that. And truthfully, I don't want them to know that I am. It's like you want it to be a surprise, that one day they'll call me fat but I won't be anymore. Then I can laugh in their faces and go, "Not anymore fuckers!" I pine for that day to come.

While I was in my thought, I began sub-consciously sketching out something on the paper. When I realized this, I looked to see a simple sketch of myself. I was skinnier though, and my hands were on my hips as though in triumph.

I look it over once more and rip the page out of the sketchbook. Right now you are probably thinking, "_Why the hell would he do that? Wouldn't it be good for him to see himself in a new way?_" I don't really know why I did, I just wanted to. I want to see myself that way, but in real life. After all, that's what counts, right?

Everything went by with no trouble this period. It soon ended, the last bell ringing at 2:15 exactly. Nonno had got up and stood by the door bidding everyone a good evening. I walked up to him and asked what I wanted for dinner since it was my turn to choose. "I want to have a salad. We have some, don't we?"

He nodded, "Yeah, there's some in the fridge. Now that you say that I'll make one too… Oh, and Feli is staying after with Ludwig. I forgot what for though."

"Whatever, not my business."

Once everyone left the room, I waited a few more minutes for people to leave the school. I told Nonno that I would be back in five minutes and he told me he would be by the front opening to the school.

I walked to my locker for the past 2 years which was down the science and language hallway, specifically next to the second Spanish room. Our lockers don't change every year to make things easier, and they kind of are. Mrs. Kerron's door was open and I could hear her talking with someone. I ignored it and continued to put things in my book bag. Then her and the person she was talking to stepped out of the room while still talking. "...Gracias, Antonio, it will be a big help to me! When I need you I'll just send a note out or something." Mrs. Kerron looked at me in surprise, not noticing me before (that's surprising) "Lovino! How are you doing? Have you met Antonio? He's going to be a tutor to students now! Well, not like you need help, but just so you know! See you boys tomorrow!" And she locked the door and turned down into another hallway.

"Hi Lovi! Are you staying after?" He asked me. And he called me Lovi again! How many times do I have to tell him not to call me that!

"It's not 'Lovi'! And no, I'm not. I'm going home like normal people." I started to leave for the front of the school and he followed after me.

"That's nice! So how was your day? Mine was pretty fun and I made lots of friends! Isn't that great?" He smiled.

"Yeah that's fucking wonderful. Now please let me go home in peace." I replied flatly. Antonio still smiled at me brightly as ever. I don't know how a person can smile so much. It seems fitting for him though. He has a nice smile too, I begin to think. And a handsome face, almost too handsome.

Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. Damn it Lovino! Get your head out of the gutter! He's just a regular guy who is super-hot, that's all!

Shit.

I start blushing and he notices. "Are you okay, Lovi? You seem to get red easily, huh?" And he starts laughing at me, but light-heartedly. Not like he's laughing at my distress, like what other people seem to often do. I liked his laugh too, light and fun. But still yelled at him, calling him a bastard. And he laughed even more, something that most people would get angry at. A smile had slowly made its way onto my face now, too.

"Lovino! Who is this? Is it a new friend?"

I was abruptly torn out of the new happiness as Nonno questioned me. "I-I don't know, n-no—"

"¡Hola! I am Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. I'm Lovino's friend," Antonio said as he reached out his hand to shake Nonno's. Nonno took it and cheerfully shook Antonio's hand as I stood off, mouth open in shock.

Nonno laughed as he let go of Antonio's hand. "Nice to meet you Antonio! I am Romulus Vargas, Lovino's grandfather and also one of the art teacher's here. It's nice to see my grandson made a new friend!"

"Oh! Do you by chance have an open spot in your last period art class? I would like to join, if you don't mind?"

"Sure, sure! Go to the guidance councelor to get it changed and what-not. Lovino here is in that period too," Nonno said as he pointed a thumb at me.

"¡Muchos gracias, Señor Vargas! And I wanted to have another class with Lovino- he can teach me all sorts of things!" Antonio said and he turned to me, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow in band, Lovi! My ride's here now so bye!" He ran off through the doors and down the short steps to a car that was sitting at the curb.

Nonno looked at again and gave me a funny smile. "What?" I said.

"Nothing. He seems to be a good kid, Lovino. Like's you a lot too, from the looks of it," He smirked. What is wrong with him?

"I-idiota! He's just someone I met today, that's all! And he was the one who said we were friends, which I'm not even too sure about!" I yelled at him.

"_You_ may not be sure about it but he says you guys are friends. I would at least be happy about that Lovino and not trying to make it be a bad thing."

Conversation dropped, we walked out to the teacher's parking lot where Nonno's car was. I looked out the window as Nonno started singing a song that was on the radio. He says we're friends, and he's nice to me, so I guess I should be happy about it. But there is the lingering thought of him just getting close to me only to destroy me later on. He did become friends with potato-bastard #2 and the cheese-bastard so how am I supposed to know if he truly is my friend?

"Oh, Lovino, how come he called you 'Lovi'...? Oohhh, he likes you, doesn't he?" Nonno said smoothly.

I blushed ten shades of red and almost hit him but I didn't want us to go flying off the road. "S-shut up damn it! We're friends, j-just like you said!"

What am I going to do with myself?

* * *

**Can I just say that this is the longest chapter I have written so far? Nine pages with 4,205 words is great! But I need to make longer chapters! And I'm sure you will agree. If some things seem a bit, um...hard to think about with the things that Lovino says, it's because I have been listening to My Chemical Romance and reading/watching Attack on Titan.**

**Speaking of Attack of Titan, if you have not watched it yet DO NOT I BEG OF YOU! I cried the first episode. You do not wreck someone's emotional state in the first episode! No, that should be a rule! *huff***

**But it's very good and I love the OST of it, truly wonderful~**

**Thank you very much for reading! Please review, I really love it when people do, that make my heart go yay! Hahaha...**


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